Ah Quin Jie - lar…….

I went for a spiritual retreat last weekend. In the midst of a lot of struggles that is going on in me, I felt that I needed this time. Just to be quiet before God and to hear what He wants to say to me. I had a good time of physical rest too =p

For this retreat, we were to walk with Jesus in his journey starting from his calling, to his preparation, to having conflicts, to being sacrificed, and then the resurrection. At first it was a bit difficult for me to ‘walk’ with Jesus in his journey as I could not  imagine myself being there. But then the facilitator asked me to walk with Jesus from my journey in my ministry. And I could see from my calling and my preparation and having conflicts that Jesus was with me through them all. The Son of God has also gone through all these.

My most amazing experience during this retreat was the time when I carried the cross. The facilitator really brought a wooden cross for this retreat!! He says that he dismantled his wooden bench and used the wood to make the cross….wah really amazing. I think it was about 6 feet in height and 4 feet wide and it was quite heavy. One of the session was to carry the cross. It’s up to us to want to carry the cross or not. I went to the cross and looked at it. Then I touched the cross and suddenly I felt fear inside of me. I was holding the cross but I was not able to put it on my shoulder to carry it. I took some time just holding the cross and looking at it with fear. Maybe I was thinking of what ‘burden’ I have to carry :p . After a few moments, I braved myself and put the cross on my shoulder and carried it and walked a distance. But the surprising thing is as I was walking my fears started to dissappear and the physical heaviness of the cross became lighter. I was really surprised!! But I can feel the pain on my shoulder where the cross was. Its like we don’t feel the heaviness but the burden is still there.

The passage given was Matt 11:28 - 30  "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

Praise God for His presence!!